From The Age:
Breaking News
6:45AM Wheels of bus packed with kids fall off

This one was me, writing an informative (ha!) article:
. . .hygiene laws are pretty sick

Personally, I think they should have called it the Apple Scroll.

Today my spell checker made the following suggestions:
Change Hainanese to hairiness
Change Larrabeiti to laryngitis
Change Skendgrot to skeleton

As I was heading down the street to stock up on fruit and veg today:
Random guy: Well, all families have skeletons in their closets
Girl: Yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to invite them to the dinner table

My little sis to my step-dad: Dad, can we have some carrots?
Justin, surprised at a request for something other than junk food: What for?
Little Sis: So we can see in the dark!

From The Age:

I’m not sure how, unless they resort to raising the dead. But I suppose zombies are en vogue.

From The Age:
Man’s body in boot tied to girl’s death

Things are getting a bit frantic over here, so I’m afraid that you won’t be getting much in the way of coherent blogging (not that that’s ever really a problem, I suppose). My laptop keyboard is still buggered, and has fits of semi-working, followed by seizures of not-working, making the whole writing stories business a [...]

From The Age:
Tourist caught smuggling lizards in pants
Lizards in pants? What’s next? Elephants in pyjamas?