From today’s Age:

Frozen Chicken Fire Blocks Freeway

(also known as ‘crash blossoms‘, as Lauren the Linguist tells me)
From The Age:
Anger over release of man convicted of murdering doctor shot dead on footpath.
Hmm. Can you murder someone who’s already been shot dead?

Taken from Toby Litt’s Hospital:

The boy stumbled out of the shower of the 14th floor stairwell, now thick with panicking, escaping people.

(Why yes, apparently I do only read books with red and white covers)

From The Age:
Police hunt knife-wielding milk bar bandit
I guess there’s always a bad egg — even amongst milk bars.

I guess the young woman in this picture is called 99% Fat Free Special K? With a name like that, I bet she got teased at school. . .

From, as usual, The Age:
A Paris laboratory found the left-hand fingerprint on the work drawn in ink and chalk in January and established that it was “very similar” to one found on a da Vinci work in the Vatican, said laboratory director Jean Penicault on Tuesday.
Well, given that it was apparently only drawn in January, [...]

From, of course, The Age:

Gardener Dies in Freak Accident
7:05pm | Police investigate death of a woman crushed in her front yard when elderly driver loses control.
What a strange method for investigating deaths.